Shadow
by foreverabasketcase
Summary: A shadow is nothing more than a shelter from danger and observation. But is a shadow capable of loving and protecting? She'll have to find out the hard way. LXOC. [Complete.]
1. Making History

**Summary:** A shadow is nothing more than a shelter from danger and observation. But is a shadow capable of loving and protecting? She'll have to find out the hard way. Pairing: LXOC

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but my OC, Shadow. Anyways, this is the story I've been dying to write for over a year now. I hope everyone really likes it. I shall be working very hard on it. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1: Making History**

_..I remember…the moment I first saw him… sitting alone by his windowsill…I knew… together, we'd make history… but alone…we would destroy it._

_---_

I held back a sigh as I stopped my spying for the day. I never seemed to muster up the courage to just walk up to him and start a conversation. Watari-sama always talked so proudly of him and I knew that if he were to ever pick a child from this orphanage to call his own that it would be him. Still, it wasn't Watari-sama's beautiful words about this child that interested me. Even as I hide perfectly in the shadows, watching him, I can feel the pull his being has on me - as if, we're meant to be one…

L-kun…do you feel it too?…

I shook my head to clear myself from these thoughts and began my trek back to my bedroom - bedtime was less than an hour away.

"What's so special about you, huh? You're just a freak!" Huh? I looked back to see what the sudden commotion was about.

"Come on, freak! Talk!" I frowned as I watched Randal, aka R, picking on Watari-sama's favorite pupil. L-kun remained un-phased and continued to eat his sugary sweets.

"If you're not gonna talk, then I'll just beat the words right out of you!" I moved too quickly for even myself to keep track of as suddenly I was standing above Randal, smirking.

"Don't you have some Barbies to play with, Randal?" He growled at me, forcing himself not to hit me. What a wimp.

"Get off me, Shadow. Just 'cause you're a girl doesn't mean I won't hit you," I inwardly laughed at his weak attempt to scare me away. I leaned down to him and stared at him with the most wicked face I could conjure up.

"Hit me? How about I devour your soul and feed your body to the crocodiles?" I busted out laughing as he and the rest of his goons ran as quickly and far away from me as possible.

"That was highly unnecessary," I stopped my laughter to look behind me. L-kun stood with a plate full of strawberry cake and looked right at me for the first time since he joined three months ago. I smirked.

"But it was fun seeing them get all scared, L-kun!" I giggled and gave the most innocent look I could muster. Obviously he didn't buy into it but I could see amusement flash in his eyes before quickly returning back to their emotionless state. At least I caught his interest.

"Thank you," he replied before turning back to his windowsill.

"No problem, L-kun. If anyone ever tries to mess with you again, don't hesitate to tell me, hehe. Although, after that little stunt today, I doubt anyone ever will!" I turned around to leave but his voice stopped me instantly from doing so.

"What were you doing, spying on me all this time?" I blinked in wonder. Did he know I had been watching him? It was impossible! I was known for my hiding abilities. No one has been able to spot me yet!

"Nani?" I asked him, too shocked to say anything else.

"You appeared out of no where. There's a ten percent change you were just in the right place at the right time but considering bedtime is only fifteen more minutes from now, there is a seventy-five percent chance you were spying on me and decided to come to my rescue," I held back the urge to grin at how quickly his mind worked.

"And what about the remaining fifteen percent?" He looked up at me and smirked.

"You were going to devour Randal's soul anyways," I laughed at his reply which amused him further.

"You're a difficult person to track down, Shadow-chan," I looked at him confused at this. "Watari has been looking for you. I think he wants to appoint you for a job."

I wondered about this. The last time Watari-sama asked something from me, he had wanted me to predict a robber's stealth patterns. Was there another case he wanted to involve me in?

"I'm sure it's nothing important," L-kun stood and walked pass me, perhaps making his way to his own bedroom. "So, which of my predictions were correct?"

I smiled to myself. Should I satisfy him with the correct answer?

"None. I was making my way to the kitchen for some marshmallows," I replied before heading the opposite direction, no need to look at him to know he was frowning with curiosity.

---

I laughed for the hundredth time today as once again I was faced with L-kun's annoyed frown.

"Please resist the urge to eat my sweets," he replied, stealing back his sugary desserts. I just stuck out my tongue in a playful manner before sitting down on a couch, in my own manner.

"Why do you sit like that?" I looked over at him, his figure upside down to me.

"Why do _you_ sit like _that_?" I asked him right back, taking great care in observing the way his legs held up his crouching form.

"I think best when I sit in this position," I smirked at his reply.

"Well, I can see better in this position," he raised his eyebrow at me.

"That's the most ridiculous reasoning I've ever heard."

"You've got hair in your nose," I smirked when his hand quickly moved to his nose, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"You're cruel," was his reply before I allowed myself to laugh once more, not caring that I slipped off the couch and knocked over some paperwork.

"Told ya I see better in that position," I replied before sitting down cross-legged on the floor instead.

"Because you were upside down," he sighed before pouring six more sugar cubes into his tea. Before he could pick up the cup to drink, I snatched it from him and took a sip. My face contorted into a look of pure disgust.

"Augh, how can you drink that stuff?" Quickly, I added six more sugar cubes, stirred and took another sip. "There, _that's_ much better."

He looked at me with wonder for a moment before taking back his tea and getting back to work. I looked up as the door opened to see Watari-sama walking in with another tray filled with sweets.

"Jii-chan!!!" I exclaimed with joy before jumping up to hug him. He chuckled softly and hugged back slightly with one arm.

"How is the case doing?" he directed his question to L-kun as he set down the new tray on the table. I quickly attacked the bag of marshmallows. I poured a few into the pouch hanging on my necklace before devouring the rest. All the while, I could feel L-kun watching me and my daily habits.

"I'm at the conclusion. Please notify the police," he replied in that monotone voice of his. For a child, he sounded so much older than he really was. But, then again, it was expected from the children at Wammy's House. I myself was only six, three years younger than L-kun, but my speech was more profound than a six year old's, even if my behavior screamed out "child!"

There was a bit more chattering between the two before Watari-sama left. I glanced over at L-kun afterwards to see him still looking over his papers even though he was already done with the case. I looked away, calculating how many cases he's solved already. The first three months he was here at Wammy's House were spent filing paperwork and adjusting at the orphanage - I should know, we all go through the same routine. It's been two months since then and already L-kun has received over a hundred cases. With this one completed, that left a quarter of those cases left to solve.

I was to stay with him at all times, strictly as a body guard. Of course it was highly unlikely that someone would locate L-kun or Wammy's House for that matter, but as the most prestigious member at the orphanage, Watari-sama only wanted to make certain no one harmed L-kun. I didn't complain, obviously. I had no choice but to agree - not that I would have turned it down even if I did. I wanted nothing more than to be around L-kun. Whatever it was that attracted me to him, it was obvious to me that he was drawn to me too. We could both sense it but didn't act upon. We were young and naiive but we knew.

Together, we worked to rid the world of evil and let justice take control. I was just a bodyguard but I liked to think of myself as a peacekeeper. After all, I was keeping L-kun safe from all the evil that was out to get him.

I was clueless of what was to happen next…

I always thought…we would be best friends forever..

I guess that thought ends today…

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I hope you liked this chapter! I absolutely love Shadow-chan's twisted ways. More about her and Wammy's House is coming up next! Please remember to R&R! Ja ne!


	2. Beautiful

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing but my OC. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!

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**Chapter 2: Beautiful**

_...I was always blinded by your beauty… that I failed to see how the title of "L" changed you….I was too late to save you….Perhaps even…too late to even save myself…_

---

When L-kun turned sixteen, Watari-sama came up with this twisted idea to create replacements for L-kun if he were ever to cease to exist. Thinking back on it now, what kind of person assigns a six year old girl to risk her life for another? I loved Watari-sama with all my heart. He was the closes thing to family I had left, but his idea of "L" was getting too out of hand.

When A and B arrived at the orphanage, it was my job to fill them in on what their roles were in Wammy's House. But instead, they became my friends and as my friends, I loathed the idea of them as nothing more than just an "alternative" and the "back-up plan".

A was the quiet type - a bit shy and emotional. He brought out my more girly side. To the other orphans, I was scary and rude. They cheered whenever my more kind and hyper side came out, but I could always see fear behind their eyes. It amused me, to be honest, but it also saddened me to see that was what others truly only saw me as. A never did. He saw me as a girl - not just any ordinary girl, though. It was fun being around him and I always felt normal.

B was a different case. Although "B" was his name at Wammy's House, he always preferred "BB" in respect to his real name: Beyond Birthday. At first sight, he frightened me. His eyes, although I was certain no one else saw their true color - red, were what instantly pushed me away from him. He was always the one trying to start a conversation with me, regardless of how many times I ran away from him. I figured, the moment he took a glance above my head, he was drawn to me. I was nothing more than just a mystery to him. He was curious about the non-existent numbers and name above my head and I was afraid of his eyes.

Strangely enough, I became drawn to him too. Perhaps it was because he was A's best friend. Perhaps because I loved the way his lips curled up into a twisted smirk whenever he saw me. Perhaps it was because, just like me, everyone else feared him too.

The day A killed himself, I had completely destroyed all ties with L. To me, he was no longer "L-kun" but "L", the man he was raised to become. It wasn't that I hated him or blamed him for A's death but that I hated how he saw it coming but did nothing to stop it.

---

"Shadow-chan," I twirled around at the mention of my name, not really paying much mind to who called it or where I was going. All I knew was, I had to get out of there. The look on BB's face was too much to bear after the loss of A and his missing presence was like a stab at the heart.

When I looked back, L stood there, his hands stuffed inside his pockets, his dark eyes observing me, calculating me. Oh how I hated that look.

"What?" I spat back at him, wincing at how angry I sounded.

"You're leaving." He wasn't asking. He already knew what I was planning on doing.

"Obviously. You of all people should know me. But then again, I'm no longer talking to 'L-kun', am I?" He didn't reply, just stared right at me. For a moment, I thought I saw L-kun standing before me once more, but I guess I was wrong.

I looked away with a shake of my head, not sure what else to say to him. What was there to say when I was running away? Goodbye? No. Not to L.

I was about to walk away from him, without another word when the sound of rushing footsteps caught our attention. I looked up to see Roger heading our way, calling out L's name.

"What is it, Roger?" L asked instantly, ready to jump right into another of his endless cases.

"It's B! He-"

"His name is 'BB'," I corrected before he could continue, also paying attention to what he had to say, fearing the worse had happened.

"He's gone! He left!" Roger finished hurriedly, not paying me any mind. I stood there, frozen to the ground, unable to move. Gone?…

"What do you mean 'gone', Roger?" Watari questioned as he walked up to us, his expression worried.

"He's taken some of his clothes and just left! He's gone! He's no longer in Wammy's House! He left!" I took a few steps away, trying to catch my breath at this sudden news. I felt betrayed but wasn't I prepared to do the same only moments ago?

"Shadow-chan, do you know anything about this?" Watari questioned me, already knowing the answer from my reaction but still feeling the need to ask me. I shook my head, unable to speak. His gaze lowered, unsure of what to do next.

"Inform the police that there is a missing teenager on the streets. We'll begin our search tomorrow, when the sun is up," I looked up at L as he gave his orders. I bit back the tears that threatened to fall. He sensed my gaze on him and turned to look at me.

"You…you just don't care do you? This is all just a game to you! Well, I refuse to continue to be one of your guinea pigs anymore!"

"Shadow-chan!" Watari exclaimed, surprised by my outburst. I turned to look at him and it was all it took for the tears to fall.

"I'm sorry Watari…I love you but…this is not the way to create a peaceful world!" I ran, masking myself in the shadows, refusing to reveal my location to anyone.

---

My search for BB began the day after I ran away from Wammy's House, breaking all ties I had left with L and Watari. I never expected to run into either ever again. I was unsure of what to do after I found BB but I doubted I would be able to do so anytime soon. Still, I felt the need to locate him. It was his eyes that made me fear what he would do next.

Although I was unsure of how he obtained those eyes - eyes I wished I never had to see again - I knew what they were capable of, or at least what they meant. BB showed no signs of a notebook anywhere. He too was a mystery to me, but unlike his thoughts towards me, I didn't wish to solve this mystery.

Regardless of his eyes, he became my friend. As my friend, I feared for his life and for the lives of others around him.

BB once asked me if he was like L. My response was: No.

What I wanted to say was: L is not beautiful like L-kun was.

But what BB wanted to hear was: that he was better than L.

If only I had known his true purpose for that question…

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This chapter felt a bit rushed to me but I still liked it. I hope you guys enjoyed it as well! Please remember to R&R!!! Ja ne!


	3. Weak

**Disclaimer: **I own nada! I wish I did. Death Note is awesome! Time for me to sob. Oh! I do own my OCs though! Just to let you know, though, A and B are still property of Death Note, just in case some of you aren't aware of that little detail. Please enjoy!

**Warning: **Spoilers for Another Note.

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**Chapter 3: Weak**

…_I find myself comparing the both of you… regardless of how different the two of you are… I guess… in the end… I'm too weak to speak up and say… you're nothing like him… Is it wrong for me to wish… that you were?… _

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I groaned as I held the empty pouch on my necklace, upside-down in a futile attempt to pour out another marshmallow. I cursed under my breath to find nothing falling into the palm of my hand. I was broke and craving my favorite sweet. I forgot to mention I was lost as well.

In four years, I had managed to track down BB in Los Angeles. The US is so much different than England. For one, people here tend to use a car for everything. Another, they're almost never off their god damn phones! Anyways, that's not the point right now.

BB, fifteen when he left Wammy's House, should be nineteen by now. I wondered if he has changed at all since then. Did he still set out to imitate L from what I told him about him? Did he still have that ungodly obsession with strawberry jam? Funny thought: When I first saw him eating that sugary jelly, I seriously thought he was filling up on blood. Boy, did I think he was nuts.

I myself changed very little since I ran away from Wammy's House. I still loved my marshmallows and still had a colorful sense of style. It's not that I like to stand out, I just liked to challenge myself. I still had a name to live up to. Who ever heard of a spy who wears bright colors? Well, I say this for a fact, I'm the first and I've never been caught yet. For once, however, I wish my bright colors will draw someone in - specifically BB. No such luck so far.

I sighed before making my way downtown. Maybe if I got lucky, I'd find a temporary job. As I walked along the sidewalk, something caught my eye. I stopped when I noticed yellow police tape surrounding a house down the street. It was getting late but the sun was still out so I looked up and down the street before sneaking inside.

I looked around to find the place completely wiped out. Obviously what happened here had scared away the owners - if any were still living that is. I made my way towards a room upstairs that had more yellow tape. I pressed my ear against the door to check if anyone was inside before opening it and making my way in. I felt my heart give a tug as I realized this was a little girl's room. Either this girl had been around seven years of age or a childish thirteen year old. I decided to go with the thirteen year old theory - it was less painful to imagine a thirteen year old murdered in this room. I sighed when I saw nothing that told me BB had been here. I turned around to take my leave only to stop when I noticed someone waiting for me at the door.

"I didn't expect to ever see you again," BB stared at me with a longing expression. For a moment his gaze swept over my head but rested back on my face. My throat closed up and my eyes watered. What was I to say now that he was here?

He continued to stare at me, either waiting for a response or waiting for me to leave. I couldn't tell. I was too amazed at how well he had portrayed L's image. Even though BB had never personally set eyes on L, he looked so much like him. He had depended greatly on my description of L. I suddenly found myself taking back my answer to him only to quickly slap that thought out of my head. BB was not L. He would never stoop as low as him. But as I stood in the room of a dead girl, I began to wonder, were BB's actions any different than L's? In the end, had they not both killed someone to obtain what they wanted?

I was distracted by BB's smile - that twisted curl of his lip that I had loved when I was younger. I instantly saw the different then between L-kun's smile and BB's - L never smiled so he was instantly taken out of the equation.

"Come on, I'll buy you some marshmallows," I smiled, letting a tear run down my face, which I quickly wiped away. It was then I realized what he had been looking at to make him smile. I gripped the pouch hanging around my neck and nodded before following him out.

---

I took little notice of the way he looked around as we walked through the streets. Although I cared little for this action, I instantly connected it to a possibility that he was being followed or spied on. It then became clear that BB did in fact murder that little girl. For what reason? I was afraid to find out.

We sat down inside a small coffee house. I hated coffee but liked the smell of it. I just busied myself eating marshmallows, making sure to place some inside my pouch for later. I glanced up at BB to see him with yet again another jar of strawberry jam. Despite myself, I smiled. He was my friend after all and I did miss him greatly.

"Why L.A?" I asked, speaking to him for the first time in four years.

"The police here are more hectic," he replied, not stopping his scooping. I was confused and sad all at the same time. He looked up at me, wiping his mouth clean with his sleeve.

"What have you been doing the past year?" I tilted my head to the side, confused as to what he meant by that. Past year? It occurred to me then that I was seventeen now and the orphanage required sixteen year olds to move out to start their own future. He knew how much I had wanted to leave to explore the world. I smiled slightly.

"I left after you did. I've been looking for you since then," it was his turn to be confused.

"Why?" I looked down at my marshmallows. What was I to say? He was my friend, but he knew L was too.

"I… couldn't stand being there all alone. Without you and A… it just felt… empty," I settled with this explanation. It wasn't a lie but I wasn't really certain what was the real reason for tracking down BB. I couldn't tell him I feared what he would do - even though that _was _one reason.

"You had _him_," I resisted the urge to cry. Did I really? Had I not lost him way before I lost A?

"Why did you kill that little girl?" I questioned him in a hushed tone. He looked away from me, into the distance. I wondered for a moment if whoever was watching him was listening in on our conversation and that's why he wasn't replying.

"Do you… ever wonder when you're going to die?" I was startled by his question. It was then I noticed that he wasn't looking outside the window but at his reflection - above his head where numbers were blurred to him.

I wasn't sure how to answer him. His eyes were a topic I always tried to avoid. He had no way to question my non-existent lifespan but if he was contemplating life and death, how can I avoid that?

"Yes," I answered him after a moment of silence. Although it wasn't completely true, I did often think about my death. He looked at me - at the area above my head.

"So do I."

---

I didn't find out until it was too late that BB had challenged L. Perhaps it was because I was too overcome with emotion from finally finding him that I failed to see the little signs that told me what BB's plan had been all along. In the end, BB failed in completing his "unsolved" case for L. He came out burned and scarred and still pondering when his death day would be. I felt guilty for his outcome. If I had known his purpose on time I could have stopped him.

I sneaked into his hospital room late at night, not caring if the cameras inside spotted me. I took a seat by his bedside and grabbed a hold of his hand - lightly at first, unsure if it harmed him or not. I sighed, hating to see him in such a position simply because of L. I once again found myself cursing that name for all the pain it had caused others.

"Shadow…" I looked up at his bandaged face when he called my name. I smiled and kissed his forehead in a weak attempt to comfort him.

"Hai, it's me. I'm here now," I wiped at my eyes, not allowing any tears to fall.

"I'm sorry…" I looked at him confused. I didn't know what he meant by his apology.

"Sorry for what?" I asked him, tightening my hold on his hand a bit. He didn't answer. Instead, he responded by tightening his hold on my hand as well. I rested my head by his side, unable to distance myself from him.

Despite all he had been through, he was still nothing like L. He wanted to prove himself better than L by presenting a case L would be unable to solve. But why prove himself better than a murderer? Was this how he had wanted to prove himself? Instead of leading someone else to their death because of their high standards for them, he had lead himself to his death. Was that proof that he was better than L?

"Am I like L now?" the question startled me slightly and I looked up at him to make sure he had really asked it and that it wasn't just my imagination.

I could barely see his red eyes looking directly at me through the bandages wrapped around his face and the rest of his body. He wanted an honest answer and for once I would give him one.

"No. You'll never be like L because L is who pushed A to kill himself. You're nothing like him. Although you killed others, I know your true purpose for doing so," his eyes flashed with wonder at that statement but we both knew we couldn't exactly comment on it when a camera was linking our conversation directly to L at that moment.

"You are BB, not L. Regardless of your… cute imitation of L, you will always be BB to me and I know A feels the same way. You know, it doesn't all have to be about L," I stood to kiss him on the forehead once more, to say my farewell. His hold on my hand tightened. I could see tears rolling down his face and pain in his eyes. It hurt to say goodbye but I knew I would be back to visit him but for now, I needed to find myself in this world.

I glanced up at the hidden camera beside us. I wondered how L looked like… I wondered… what became of him and Watari. How was everyone else in Wammy's House doing? I looked back down at BB and finally realized why I truly came to look for him.

I let go of his hand and stepped out of the room, once again hiding in the shadows in order to take my leave.

All along, I had compared BB to L but not in the way he wished for me to do so. I looked at BB for signs of my L-kun when I slowly began to see them disappearing in L. And as the tears finally fall the moment I step outside the hospital building, I know it was wrong for me to lead BB on that way.

I didn't realize how much BB truly meant to me…

It wasn't until I completely lost him that I realized that I no longer feared him…

But through his failed attempt to prove himself, a new me emerged…

One which would challenge L…

One which would challenge myself…

And my past…

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I'm so glad with the progress of this story so far. I felt that if I told the beginning through Shadow's point of view first, the introduction to the real plot line would immerge much quicker. Anyways, this is the end of Shadow's point of view but most likely not the last. I hope you've enjoyed so far and please stay tuned for the rest of the story! Please remember to R&R! Ja ne!


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